Cacophony

Seeds of Hope Gouache and silkscreen 2021

Late summer is upon us. Hopes of the world healing any time soon is fading each day. There is so much anger and hurt in the air. It seems impossible to mend. I am constantly reminding myself that all I can do is simply make small ripples of love and kindness. Embrace my daily encounters with compassion. Everyone has their challenges.  

Yet. Some days I feel engulfed in this enormous sea of sorrow. It’s easy to be dragged under. So many people acting as if they know the answers to the ills of the world. Vehemently protesting their right right to be heard. So many loud, conflicting, opposing voices. It’s cacophonous. And then there are fires, floods, virus variants. So many threats on our life, the clamor is deafening and agitating. There is so little space for quiet moments or meaningful reflection. I want to add my voice to the noise. To be heard above it all. 

I mean. We all just want to know someone is listening, right? I have never been vociferous though. I know the quiet voices often go unnoticed especially when there are so many people in the room. I guess, it’s a matter of finding the right room.

I used to get really angry when I felt I was not being heard. Perhaps I still do. It’s hard to tell when most of my days I am only arguing with myself. I try to recognise that anger is useful sometimes but not necessarily as a tool for clarification. 

I have some new pieces I am working on in the studio. It’s been very slow building. But it’s there. It’s about exploring this quiet voice. Noticing what hurts and acknowledging all the stories I have constructed around these hurts. Observing the layers of protection. The hard skin I have built as security through the years. Where do I need to start unraveling. Where do I need to repair. 

I know this won’t change the world. Just maybe though, my ripples will widen.